Have you ever had something truly awful and unexpected happen to you? Perhaps you’ve experienced a relationship breakdown, a betrayal by a friend or partner or endured the loss of someone close to you?
Can I take a guess at your immediate reaction to this? You powered ahead and kept busy, desperately trying to prove to everyone else (and yourself) that you got this?!
During times of trauma and tragedy we often throw ourselves into work, uphold our busy social lives and continue operating at the high level we’ve grown accustomed to, rarely taking the time to actually process what’s happened and check that we’re OK.
Self-care secrets for when you lose someone close to you
Whilst this might feel good in the short term, not taking care of ourselves can have huge personal impact in the long run. It can delay or draw out our grief and heartache and lead to stress, overwhelm and burnout – which is a lot harder to bounce back from when it’s months-in-the-making.
When life throws you lemons, before racing ahead to start making a batch of lemonade, it’s important to take the time to look after yourself. The art of self-care needs to become a top priority and there are many ways of doing this outside of the typical mani + pedia + bubble bath image that my mind conjures up (though that is totally acceptable to!)
Give yourself a break
Girlfriend, life has just thrown you a big f*ck off curve ball and you’re berating yourself for being tired, emotional, flat and fugly. How would you treat your best friend if she/he was in the same scenario? Be patient, be kind and be loving with yourself. You are allowed to feel this way and you’re entitled to the time it takes to move through this.
Take it slow
No, it may not be possible for you to uphold your 9am – forever job, hectic F45 schedule, coffee/lunch dates and family duties and that is A-OK. Accept that for the indefinite future you are going to operate at a slower pace and listen to what your mind and body needs of you.
Learn to say no
Stop trying to please everyone around you and start looking after yourself. From here on in, I only want you to commit to things, people and events that are a BIG yes from you. Your time and energy is precious at the moment, don’t fill it with things that you don’t want to do.
Ask for help
You don’t always need to be the brave one. You don’t have to have your sh*t together all the time. Ask for help when you need it! Perhaps that’s a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, some time away from work or company for a walk and wine (tell me I’m not the only person that loves these?). Often when you’re experiencing something horrific, those around you don’t know what to do or how they can help. Make them feel useful – ask them for what you need.
If you’ve endured something pretty traumatic and want more support in moving through this, come along to an upcoming workshop ‘Resilience in Grief’ as part of #TheResilienceSeries.
Join an intimate group of like-minded women connecting on one of life’s biggest topics – love and loss.
The Resilience Series
The Resilience Series is a first of its kind, women’s only event where certified coaches, Megan Luscombe and The Graceful Collective’s Lucy Allen (that’s me) will be discussing the biggest topics of life. It’s an open space to learn from them with warmth and humour whilst letting your guard down a little (and having a few cheeky wines).
Wherever you are in your experience with grief, we’d love to see you there. The event will take place on Saturday April 21st from 2pm – 5pm at The Windsor Workshop in Chapel Street, Windsor.
Tickets available now via eventbrite here.
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